Well with the new school year comes the dreaded bullies of the schools running wild again. This year my son is dealing with one, sort of. This is a very complex scenario for him as the person who is bossing him around and pushing him down, happens to be one of his friends.
Their friendship has changed this year as my son just wants to have fun and this boy is now trying to be cool. This is how the bullying is starting. When they are alone they play well but around a group of other kids my son gets pushed around ao the other boy can be “cool” for the older kids.
Now me and mom are dealing with it like any other bully. When it happens, walk away. If it’s bad enough for you, go and talk to someone. You don’t need to deal with this on your own and teachers will help. Even go find your sister to help. I also told him not to resort to hitting, use your words and not your fists.
My son is beside himself though. He is a kind-hearted boy who loves playing with everyone. He doesn’t get why people choose to be mean, which I love him for. Like his dad, he is a big boy and very strong so I am sure glad his demeanor is peaceful. My dad raised me to be calm and use words first and it paid off for me.
Don’t get me wrong, I would love to tell him to knock the kid out but that would only create more problems and make him just like the bully. Given his strength, things could go bad if he resorted to violence real fast.
I am all for my kids standing up for themselves but I don’t want that to be their first reaction. If it comes to a good shot to the head of a bully I will be by his side if all other means were tried first.
My oldest daughter had this problem in grade 2. She had a bully bugging her from the start of grade 1 and nothing was done. It was the mayor of our small towns granddaughter so the school kept blaming my girl. One day she had enough and fought back. We got brought in to talk to the principle and I told her in no way will my girl be punished, in fact I will be taking her for ice cream. For 2 years she put up with this, doing everything right with no help. Enough was enough and this will end now or I go higher. Well it stopped and that was the only time it happened.
My little girl doesn’t put up with crap like this. She tells people enough and walks away. She also puts them in their place with words and helps all other kids around the school stand up to bullies. I love how strong she is and how her heart makes her help others. She will help her brother if need be but for now I want him to learn how to deal with it on his own. Like I said before if it’s bad find your sister.
Now all 3 of my kids will talk about their days at school, good and bad. Having that supper time talk really keeps them at ease even if only to get things off their chests. We hear all sorts of things from them and offer help when needed. My oldest daughter sometimes has trouble speaking but it eventually comes out.
Has anything like this happened to your kids? If so how did you deal with it? Maybe with talking we can all learn tips to help our kids deal with this. Keep an eye for signs something good is wrong, us as parents know our kids and sometimes a little encouragement is needed to bring bullying problems to the surface.