A Letter To An Old Friend

The back story behind this letter won’t be revealed as the reasons behind it are between us. The person I am writing about will know who he is and this may or may not reach him but after another Christmas past I need to write this.

A few years back you made a choice. A choice that not only affected you and me but my whole family. The way it affected my family you never knew and to be honest I’m not sure you ever cared.

After that day where I told you to leave and gave you a way to come back has been a long time full of pain and hurt. I myself have gotten past it but it did take a while as you weren’t just a friend, you were my brother. My kids though, still to this day have their moments where the hurt still surfaces.

After you left and didn’t look back all my kids were in tears, that the man they called Uncle wasn’t around and to make things worse Dad couldn’t tell them the truth as to why.

My oldest daughter who grew up with you was devastated you were no longer there but she bottled it in, knowing a partial reason why but not understanding the choice. My little girl was in tears when her birthday came around as well as Christmas but to young to figure it out. My son cried for weeks after that day. At Christmas he asked me why you didn’t love him any more and what he did wrong. None of them could figure out why someone so important to them would leave and never come back.

My kids thought the world of you. You were their Uncle, my brother and I chose you as their Godfather for a reason, never thinking what happened would.

Now Christmas passed and my 2 younger kids have asked about you again and where you are. I myself am wondering if your life has changed, if you even think of us. If you ever sit back and wonder what your God children are doing. Have you thought of that day and wanted to reach out not knowing how. Answers I might never know.

The things you have missed my old friend are a lot. Birthdays, including a sweet 16 and an 18th. Many Christmas days are gone as well as other holiday moments. Driving lessons, first days of school, university, video games, skating, sleep overs and so much more. The one consistent through each milestone they reach is you aren’t there and they hurt. You touched them in a way I can’t explain but left them without looking back.

I came to terms with how I handled that day and I can tell you I would make that decision 100% of the time. My kids are my life and your choice hurt that. You lied to me about it and never made it right. If you ever do read this know the offer I made you that day still stands. You know what needs to be done and I will consider your return to the family if anything for my kids. Like I teach my kids now, you made the choice, you got the consequence, now own it and fix it.